The sales of psychoactive drugs, coffee, and energy drinks are increasing all over the world, indicating that our mental health and energy levels are declining. At the same time, addictions and suicide are on the increase, alongside serious illnesses like diabetes, obesity, and heart disease. Even with all of our advancements in technology and knowledge, there are no obvious signs of this changing, The question is, why are we not getting healthier and happier?
Ironically it is all blame’s fault!
What is the foundational reason we are angry or even hating ourselves or others? How is it, that we have gotten to the point our whole life can crumble because of a tweet or a joke? When did our psychological foundation become so weak, that because we perceive something as offensive, we have a meltdown, get angry, sad, or declare we want revenge or a mental health day off work? Could the answer be as simple as blame?
I used to be that person. Always pointing the finger at everyone thinking they were the reason I was feeling hurt or unhappy. It was easy to think this way as its influence is everywhere. We are constantly told that our parents messed us up. Our environment shapes us. Women are the problem. But not when men are the issue. Siblings could have done better at supporting us. While our children, bosses, and partners’ main role in life are to make us crazy! And don’t get me started on the government, tech companies, social media, and whatever is next. Oh yes, it is AI’s fault you might lose your job. You get my point, the list is endless. And just in case you run out of things to blame, there is always you.
Read: Are you a serial blamer?
The goal here isn’t to actually blame blame. We don’t want to make blame the new enemy that we have to fight. It is just that our relationship with it needs to change, so it becomes a less dominant feature in our life. It is important to our mental health that we do. Because, having a blame-based view of the world leads to feeling like a victim, powerless to be the change in our life. When we think someone or something else has to change for us to be happy, we remain in a victim cycle forever. It is a mentally and physically exhausting way to live.
A weak foundation
Our psychological foundation is getting weaker after years of thinking others are responsible for our happiness, health, and prosperity. Arguably, this has been going on for thousands of years, where we have constantly blamed others (or ourselves) when we think something hasn’t gone the way we think it should. And this is where the issue lies. Based on someone (expert or not) we are always doing the perceived wrong thing. How can our mental health and energy levels be optimal when we are constantly being told, by ourselves or others, that we are always in the wrong?
Our only solution to combat our unhappiness has been to find new ways to control our minds so we can become masters of it. However, using self-discipline, self-regulation, and fake positive thinking are all great survival tools, but because control is very energy intensive, they aren’t sustainable. And what’s more, all the while we are keeping our repressed blame-based emotions like hatred, anger, and frustration locked up somewhere in our minds, they are having a constant impact on our physical body. The longer this goes on, the more hormone imbalances we see, which then get diagnosed as mental health disorders.
All the while we are blaming and relying on positive psychology and self-control to get us out of our declining mental health and energy levels, we are weakening our foundation even further. The issue is, blame and control are interwoven into every facet of our society. For example, our allopathic medical system has a foundation in blaming the body for attacking itself for no reason and doing things wrong. Blame and control is the mainstay of psychology where they blame our thoughts and past experiences for holding us back. And then the neuroscientist took the baton and started pointing the finger at our brains thinking it is malfunctioning.
We are an ecosystem
When we look at things in isolation it is easy to point the finger. However, when you look at something as an ecosystem, like the mind/brain/body, it is easier to see how it is all connected. With a wider perception, we can gather more information, awareness, and wisdom. It is like being afraid of noise in the dark, only to feel instant relief when the light goes on and you see your cat. One piece of information can instantly make us feel better and more energized. But the question is, how often do you train your perception muscle to seek that extra piece of information, awareness, and wisdom?
In time, with some exploration, we realize nothing is malfunctioning in our mind/brain/body, it is just trying to reach homeostasis. And it is letting us know what needs addressing. We just have to get better at opening our minds so we can listen and understand the signs, messages, lessons, and reflections we are always receiving so we can effortlessly self-heal.
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